About Me
"The way back to yourself isn’t a straight line. It runs through the maze of life."
David Kernohan — Men’s Mentor
I mentor men who have been through a major life change or are dealing with grief.
Many are still functioning at work and at home while carrying more than anyone knows.
I know what it’s like to look strong on the outside and feel hollow inside. I also know what it’s like to survive what you never thought you could and still feel lost.
I trained as a psychiatric nurse.
I then spent more than thirty years in community and non-profit leadership. That work covered mental health, alcohol and other drug support, homelessness, and youth and legal services.
My work is grounded in three core values:
Authenticity
Helping you tell the truth without shame.
Compassion
Taking seriously what still hurts.
Courage
Accompanying you as you face your situation.
My Story
For years, I lived the life I thought would bring meaning.
Minister of Religion
But even before my son Matthew died in 2009, I had already begun leaving the church and the version of myself I had built inside it.
I walked away from fundamentalism.
I walked away from ministry.
Not because I lost faith, but because I could no longer survive the rigid certainty, shame, and religious trauma that came with it.
What followed was grief in every direction:
- The death of my son
- The slow, painful unravelling of a life built around silence and survival
- The end of my marriage
Eventually, I came out as a gay man, after decades in a world that made no room for that truth.
The life I once clung to, the one others praised, no longer held me. I had to rebuild both my outer world and my inner map.
Why I Do This
Because I know what it’s like to:
- Be successful but feel empty.
- Grieve in silence.
- Carry shame that was never yours.
- Lose your place in the world.
- No longer recognise yourself.
And I also know:
- There’s a way through.
- There’s a man in you worth getting back to.
- There is more strength in you, than you can see right now.
What I offer
I listen closely.
The work goes beyond surface change.
I don’t believe in quick fixes.
I live this work. It is how I survived.
The same work is how I help other men rebuild and reconnect after major life changes.
How I Work
My approach blends:
- Understanding your story and how it has shaped the way you see yourself.
- Making sense of your emotions and what they tell you about what matters to you.
- Recognising the strengths and experience you can draw on now.
- Looking at your situation from a different angle to find options you may not have considered.
Who I Work With
I work with men who have been through, or are going through, major change and feel that something is missing.
Most of my clients are:
- Men who are tired of holding it all in. They have learned to stay strong by staying silent, but they are starting to feel the cost
- Men facing grief, or a major life change
- Men who want clearer direction and closer connection to others in their life
Being ready to listen to yourself again is enough to start.
If You’re Asking
“Is this for me?”
Ask yourself:
- Do I feel like I’ve lost myself in being everything for everyone else?
- Do I carry grief I’ve never had permission to name?
- Am I tired of performing what a man “should” be?
If so:
- What you are carrying can be worked with.
- A first conversation is a good place to start.
Begin with a conversation
If you’re ready, reach out. A simple conversation can be the start.
In person in Perth, or on Google Meet or Teams.