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Mentoring Through The Maze

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FAQ

Welcome

Many men come here with questions about: What now? Who am I when everything’s changed? Where do I even begin?

Mentoring Through The Maze® provides you with a practical space to explore these questions without pressure or judgement. These FAQs answer the questions most men want to ask before deciding whether mentoring is right for them.

What is Mentoring Through The Maze?

Mentoring Through The Maze® is mentoring for men after grief, loss or a major life change. You can say what you cannot say anywhere else, without judgement and in confidence.

About My Approach & Experience

What’s your background, and why do you do this work?

I trained as a psychiatric nurse, and have spent more than 30 years in leadership and mentoring roles in community, health and legal settings. I also bring my own experience of loss, divorce and faith transition. 

I am not here to fix you. I listen closely and ask the questions that help you find the values and strength you already have.

This isn’t therapy. Mentoring is about living effectively and fully in the present and rebuilding our future after major change. We all have past experiences that influence us. Sometimes we need therapy to work through those things.

a) Respect for Men’s Communication Styles – action, silence, withdrawal, and return are all valid.
b) Shoulder-to-Shoulder Connection – walking or shared activity instead of feeling like you have to “open up” and talk before you are ready.
c) Safety First – trauma-aware, and the importance of creating safety before going deeper.
d) Strengths Over Fixing – we build from what’s working in your life.
e) Your Pace, Not Mine – disclosure happens naturally as trust builds.

Many men were taught early on that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, so they learned to hide their grief. Beneath that conditioning, there is often another fear—that if they allow themselves to feel, the emotion will flood them and they won’t be able to function. As a result, instead of tears or open sadness, grief tends to manifest in less visible ways: anger, withdrawal, overwork, or numbness.
Silence may seem like strength at first, but over time it builds pressure—like carrying a heavy load without words to explain it. When men finally start to speak, the first thing they often say is: “I don’t know how to put this into words.”

Grief doesn’t always come in neat sentences. Sometimes it appears in fragments, pauses, or metaphors. Mentoring creates a space where silence is accepted, where words don’t need to be perfect, and where men can gradually learn the language of their own loss.

Absolutely. Not all grief is tied to death. Men often grieve in silence over:
  • Divorce or the breakdown of a relationship
  • The loss of faith or a community
  • Dreams or futures that never materialised
  • Changes in health, work, or physical ability
These are known as living losses. They often go unrecognised by others, making the grief feel even more isolating. You might even doubt yourself, thinking: “Why does this hurt so much? Nothing ‘bad’ happened.”
But grief is about attachment and meaning — whenever something important is lost, grief ensues.

Mentoring gives permission to acknowledge these hidden losses. When you can say, “Yes, this mattered to me, and it’s gone,” you start to honour the ache instead of suppressing it. Naming grief is often the first step towards rebuilding resilience, and a renewed sense of self.

Grief is a common response to loss — but men and women are often taught to show it differently.
Women are generally encouraged to express their grief outwardly — through crying, talking, or seeking support.
Men are often taught to hold it in — to stay strong, distract themselves with work or sport, or turn grief into action.

Neither way is right or wrong. The issue comes up when men feel that because they don’t cry or can’t find words, they’re “not grieving properly.” In reality, many men grieve through silence, physical activity, or even problem-solving. These are valid responses.

The risk arises when grief is left unsupported or unspoken. Suppressed grief can negatively affect mental health. It may manifest as:
  • Irritability, anger, or emotional numbness
  • Withdrawal from family or friends
  • Overwork, drinking, or other numbing behaviours
  • Persistent fatigue or loss of motivation
  • Symptoms that resemble depression or anxiety

When grief isn’t safely expressed, it can turn into isolation or mental struggles. That’s why recognising men’s grief is important for mental health and for protecting long-term well-being.

Mentoring offers a space where men don’t have to “grieve the right way.” Whether your grief manifests in words, silence, or action, what matters is that it is expressed. Supported grief is healthier grief — and it is the first step in safeguarding both emotional and mental health.
Yes — many men reach a point where they realise they’ve been playing roles rather than living truly. This is called role fatigue, and it’s one of the most common reasons men seek mentoring.
For years, you may have carried the expectations of being a provider, partner, leader, or “the strong one.” These roles aren’t bad in themselves, but when they consume your whole identity, you can lose touch with who you are underneath.

Role fatigue shows up as burnout, irritability, or a sense of emptiness that does not lift. Some men describe it as “living on autopilot” — outwardly functioning but inwardly disconnected.

Mentoring helps you step back and ask: Who am I beyond the roles? It’s about realigning with values, remembering forgotten strengths, and finding the person underneath the roles. When you reclaim your identity from the roles you play, you rediscover energy and meaning that no job title or family expectation can fully define.

Religious trauma occurs when a faith community or belief system is intertwined with fear, shame, or control. For many men, this leaves lasting scars related to identity, sexuality, and a sense of belonging.
A man might feel guilt for leaving religion, fear of being authentic, or even a deep loss of meaning once belief systems collapse. For GBTIQ+ men, the impact is often doubled — facing rejection from faith communities and shame that persists long after leaving.
Religious trauma can cause anxiety, depression, or feelings of disconnection from yourself. It can lead you to question your worth, masculinity, or your right to simply be yourself.

Mentoring provides a way to rebuild. It does not replace one belief system with another. It helps you make sense of what was lost, reclaim what was good, and develop a spiritual or personal framework that honours your truth.

Yes. Much of my work supports GBTIQ+ men, especially those rebuilding their lives after leaving fundamentalist faith traditions. As a gay man, I understand from lived experience how heavy shame and silence can feel.

For many gay men, religious messages about masculinity, sexuality, or belonging have caused wounds that persist long after leaving the church. These wounds can impact relationships, confidence, and even the ability to trust yourself.

This space is inclusive and affirming. You don’t have to hide, translate, or defend who you are. I do not prescribe belief. My role is to walk alongside you as you rebuild meaning, self-trust, and a sense of being at home in your own skin.

Mentoring complements — but does not replace — professional care. If needed, I can help connect you with therapists, doctors, or support services while continuing to focus on clarity, values, and next steps.

Our conversations are private and treated with respect. The only exceptions are if there is a risk of serious harm to yourself or others, or matters of a criminal nature are disclosed — in that case, I may need to seek additional support to ensure safety.

The Mentoring Process

How long does mentoring usually last?
Some men come for a few sessions. Others stay for several months. The pace and duration depend on your goals, availability, and readiness for change.

Yes, there is a structure. The work follows four steps, and they repeat as we go.

Understand. We look at what changed, what it means for you now, and the strengths you still have.

Choose. We pick one thing to work on. The focus is the change that would make the most useful difference now, and you make the call.

Act. You take one realistic step in your week.

Learn. We look at what happened when you tried it, then adjust the next step. A step that went badly still tells us something useful. One bad step is never a verdict on you.

No. Many men turn up worried they won’t know what to say, or that they’ll freeze when asked about feelings. That’s normal.
Mentoring isn’t about polished words or perfect explanations. Sometimes the most honest answer is: “I don’t know how to talk about it.” That’s enough to get started.
Some men speak in stories, others in fragments or metaphors, and some barely use words at all. Silence, sighs, and pauses can carry as much truth as sentences. My role as a mentor is to help you listen to what your own experience is saying — even if it comes slowly or in pieces.
Over time, men often discover language they weren’t aware they had. They start to describe grief, longing, or hope in ways that surprise them. And once you can name what you feel, you can begin to work through it, rather than being controlled by it.
Email check-ins and simple reflection exercises are available if you want ongoing support between meetings.
Most men who work with me say they:
  • Feel relief from silence and confusion.
  • Become more grounded and clear.
  • Reclaim confidence and resilience.
  • Face grief and change without losing themselves.
  • Rediscover a sense of direction and hope.

Why Mentoring Instead of Other Supports?

What if I’ve already tried therapy, self-help, or coaching and it didn’t work?
That’s common. Many men seek mentoring after feeling unsatisfied with other forms of support. Therapy can seem too clinical. Coaching might feel like more performance pressure. Self-help often feels shallow or impersonal.
Mentoring offers something different:
  • A slower pace, without the pressure to “perform progress”
  • A relational focus, where presence matters as much as tools
  • Depth that honours your story, without quick fixes

Fixing yourself is not the aim. The aim is to rediscover who you are now. Sometimes the missing piece isn’t more information or motivation. It’s the safety to stop pretending and start living your own truth.

Practical Questions

What if we don’t click or I’m not seeing results?

If after a few sessions it doesn’t feel helpful, we pause or adjust. This space is for you. If it doesn’t feel relevant or worthwhile, we change it.

Honesty and willingness to engage. No performance, no pressure.

Men who feel buried under roles, grief, or change and want a companionable, practical way forward. Many are not in crisis. They know they cannot keep going as they are.

Start with the complimentary introductory 30-minute call, or book a single Reset Session. You’ll quickly know whether this is the right next step.

Logistics & Availability

How often are sessions?
Most are 60 minutes, weekly, fortnightly, or monthly, depending on your needs and capacity.

Yes. Sessions are held in person in Perth or online via Google Meet.

Yes. Most of my mentoring happens online, and I work with men across Australia and internationally. Grief, identity and role fatigue are not limited by geography.

Online sessions on Google Meet let us meet face to face, regardless of the distance. Many men prefer online sessions because they save travel time, and talking from home feels easier.

Wherever you are, the mentoring works the same way. We work out what matters to you and choose the next step.

Usually within 1–2 weeks. Evening and weekend times are available for busy schedules.
24 hours’ notice for rescheduling. Cancellations under 24 hours may incur the session fee.

Results & Outcomes

Where will I likely end up?
By the end of the process, you’ll have:
  • A clearer sense of your values. Some come from family or culture, and you decide which ones guide your life.
  • Strength and a sense of inner peace you can trust.
  • A story you can believe in, shifting from unhelpful scripts of shame, failure, or “just surviving” to a story that honours your past and gives you a future you want to live.
  • A renewed connection to yourself and others – living with honesty and presence, able to show up in relationships and life without losing yourself.

Getting Started

Is there an introductory call?

Yes. The introductory 30-minute call is complimentary. The call gives you time to ask questions and decide whether mentoring is right for you.

Select Book an Introductory 30-minute call and choose an available time. There is no obligation to book a paid session.

Start with a complimentary introductory 30-minute call. There is no obligation. The call is a conversation to see whether this is for you.

From there we work out what issue to start with and what is the next step you can take toward a life that feels like your own.

Closing Thought

Mentoring provides a grounded space to untangle what you are struggling with and to clarify what the next step toward a value-led, authentic, and deeply connected life looks like for you.