Mentoring Through The Maze

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FAQ

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Many men come here with quiet questions: What now? Who am I when everything’s changed? Where do I even begin?
Mentoring Through the Maze provides a safe and practical space to explore these questions — without pressure, judgment, or performance expectations. This FAQ answers what most men want to know before deciding if mentoring is right for them.

What is Mentoring Through the Maze?

Mentoring Through the Maze is designed for men navigating grief, loss, or major life changes. It’s not therapy, coaching, or just peer support. It’s a safe space to steady yourself, rebuild strength, and reconnect with who you are.

About My Approach & Experience

What’s your background, and why do you do this work?
I bring over 30 years of leadership and mentoring experience in community, health, and legal settings, alongside my own lived journey through loss, divorce, and faith transition. My practice combines evidence-based frameworks — Emotional Logic, narrative inquiry, and strengths-based mentoring — with grounded life experience.
This isn’t about fixing you. It’s about listening deeply, asking the right questions, and helping you uncover the resilience and values already within you.
Mentoring is a middle path: not clinical therapy, not high-pressure coaching. It’s a reflective, strengths-based process that helps you make sense of your story, uncover what matters, and take grounded steps forward.
a) Respect for Men’s Rhythms – action, silence, withdrawal, and return are all valid.
b) Shoulder-to-Shoulder Connection – walking, projects, or shared activity instead of feeling you have to “open up” and talk before you are ready.?
c) Safety First – trauma-aware, steady presence before going deeper.
d) Strengths Over Fixing – we build from what’s working in your life.
e) Your Pace, Not Mine – disclosure happens naturally as trust builds.
Many men were taught early on that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, so they learned to hide their grief. Beneath that conditioning, there is often another fear—that if they allow themselves to feel, the emotion will flood them and they won’t be able to function. As a result, instead of tears or open sadness, grief tends to manifest in less visible ways: anger, withdrawal, overwork, or numbness.
Silence may seem like strength at first, but over time it builds pressure—like carrying a heavy load without words to explain it. When men finally start to speak, the first thing they often say is: “I don’t know how to put this into words.”
The truth is: grief doesn’t always come in neat sentences. Sometimes it appears in fragments, pauses, or metaphors. Mentoring creates a space where silence is accepted, where words don’t need to be perfect, and where men can gradually learn the language of their own loss.
Talking about grief doesn’t make it heavier — it makes it easier to carry.
Absolutely. Not all grief is tied to death. Men often grieve in silence over:
  • Divorce or the breakdown of a relationship
  • The loss of faith or a community
  • Dreams or futures that never materialised
  • Changes in health, work, or physical ability
These are known as living losses. They often go unrecognised by others, making the grief feel even more isolating. You might even doubt yourself, thinking: “Why does this hurt so much? Nothing ‘bad’ happened.”
But grief is about attachment and meaning — whenever something important is lost, grief ensues.
Mentoring gives permission to acknowledge these hidden losses. When you can say, “Yes, this mattered to me, and it’s gone,” you start to honour the ache instead of suppressing it. Naming grief is often the first step towards healing, resilience, and a renewed sense of self.
Grief is a common response to loss — but men and women are often taught to show it differently.
Women are generally encouraged to express their grief outwardly — through crying, talking, or seeking support.
Men are often taught to hold it in — to stay strong, distract themselves with work or sport, or turn grief into action.
Neither way is right or wrong. The issue comes up when men feel that because they don’t cry or can’t find words, they’re “not grieving properly.” In reality, many men grieve through silence, physical activity, or even problem-solving. These are valid responses.
The risk arises when grief is left unsupported or unspoken. Suppressed grief can negatively affect mental health. It may manifest as:
  • Irritability, anger, or emotional numbness
  • Withdrawal from family or friends
  • Overwork, drinking, or other numbing behaviours
  • Persistent fatigue or loss of motivation
  • Symptoms that resemble depression or anxiety
When grief isn’t safely expressed, it can turn into isolation or mental struggles. That’s why recognising men’s grief is important — not just for healing the loss, but for safeguarding long-term wellbeing.
Mentoring offers a space where men don’t have to “grieve the right way.” Whether your grief manifests in words, silence, or action, what matters is that it is expressed. Supported grief is healthier grief — and it is the first step in safeguarding both emotional and mental health.
Yes. Whether you’re in your 20s questioning identity, your 40s feeling burnt out, or your 60s seeking renewed purpose, the process adapts to your stage of life.
Yes — many men reach a point where they realise they’ve been playing roles rather than living truly. This is called role fatigue, and it’s one of the most common reasons men seek mentoring.
For years, you may have carried the expectations of being a provider, partner, leader, or “the strong one.” These roles aren’t bad in themselves, but when they consume your whole identity, you can lose touch with who you are underneath.
Role fatigue shows up as burnout, irritability, or a quiet sense of emptiness. Some men describe it as “living on autopilot” — outwardly functioning but inwardly disconnected.
Mentoring helps you step back and ask: Who am I beyond the roles? It’s about realigning with values, remembering forgotten strengths, and finding the man behind the mask. When you reclaim your identity from the roles you play, you rediscover energy and meaning that no job title or family expectation can fully define.
Religious trauma occurs when a faith community or belief system is intertwined with fear, shame, or control. For many men, this leaves lasting scars related to identity, sexuality, and a sense of belonging.
A man might feel guilt for leaving religion, fear of being authentic, or even a deep loss of meaning once belief systems collapse. For GBTIQ+ men, the impact is often doubled — facing rejection from faith communities and shame that persists long after leaving.
Religious trauma can cause anxiety, depression, or feelings of disconnection from yourself. It can lead you to question your worth, masculinity, or your right to simply be yourself.
Mentoring provides a way to rebuild. Not by replacing one belief system with another, but by helping you make sense of what was lost, reclaim what was good, and develop a spiritual or personal framework that honours your truth.
Yes. Much of my work supports GBTIQ+ men, especially those navigating life after leaving fundamentalist faith traditions. As a gay man, I understand from lived experience how heavy shame and silence can feel.
For many gay men, religious messages about masculinity, sexuality, or belonging have caused wounds that persist long after leaving the church. These wounds can impact relationships, confidence, and even the ability to trust yourself.
This space is inclusive and affirming. You don’t have to hide, translate, or defend who you are. My role isn’t to prescribe belief, but to walk alongside you as you rebuild meaning, self-trust, and a sense of home in your own skin.
Mentoring complements — but does not replace — professional care. If needed, I can help connect you with therapists, doctors, or support services while continuing to focus on clarity, values, and next steps.

Our conversations are private and treated with respect. The only exceptions are if there is a risk of serious harm to yourself or others, or matters of a criminal nature are disclosed — in that case, I may need to seek additional support to ensure safety.

The Mentoring Process

How long does mentoring usually last?
Some men come for a few sessions. Others stay for several months. The pace and duration depend on your goals, availability, and readiness for change.
I use a simple four-stage Maze Pathway:
  1. Stabilisation – The Compass: Find your bearings, anchor routines, steady yourself.
  2. Exploration – The Mapmaker: Clarify your values and name what you’ve lost.
  3. Reconstruction – The Pathfinder: Test new routes, rebuild strength, and rewrite your story.
  4. Reconnection – The Guide: Pull it all together, reconnect with yourself, your people, and your future.
No. Many men turn up worried they won’t know what to say, or that they’ll freeze when asked about feelings. That’s normal.
Mentoring isn’t about polished words or perfect explanations. Sometimes the most honest answer is: “I don’t know how to talk about it.” That’s enough to get started.
Some men speak in stories, others in fragments or metaphors, and some barely use words at all. Silence, sighs, and pauses can carry as much truth as sentences. My role as a mentor is to help you listen to what your own experience is saying — even if it comes slowly or in pieces.
Over time, men often discover language they weren’t aware they had. They start to describe grief, longing, or hope in ways that surprise them. And once you can name what you feel, you can begin to work through it, rather than being controlled by it.
Transitional mentoring bridges the gap between crisis support and counselling.
Crisis services focus on immediate safety.
Counselling often works deeply with trauma and a range of personal and relational challenges.
Transitional mentoring is for men who aren’t in crisis, but realise they can’t keep going as they are.
This space matters because many men fall through the cracks. They may not qualify for clinical services, yet they’re still carrying grief, burnout, or identity loss that needs care. Transitional mentoring provides a steady presence, practical tools, and a pathway forward.
It is the bridge between survival and healing — a place where you begin to process what happened, realign with values, and take steps without being overwhelmed.
Email check-ins and simple reflection exercises are available if you want ongoing support between meetings.
Most men who work with me say they:
  • Feel relief from silence and confusion.
  • Become more grounded, clear, and steady.
  • Reclaim confidence and resilience.
  • Face grief and change without losing themselves.
  • Rediscover a sense of direction and hope.

Why Mentoring Instead of Other Supports?

What if I’ve already tried therapy, self-help, or coaching and it didn’t work?
That’s common. Many men seek mentoring after feeling unsatisfied with other forms of support. Therapy can seem too clinical. Coaching might feel like more performance pressure. Self-help often feels shallow or impersonal.
Mentoring offers something different:
  • A slower pace, without the pressure to “perform progress”
  • A relational focus, where presence matters as much as tools
  • Depth that honours your story, without quick fixes
It’s not about fixing yourself. It’s about discovering who you are. Sometimes the missing piece isn’t more information or motivation — it’s the safety to stop pretending and start living your own truth.

How My Mentoring Model Works

What’s the model you use — and why?
I use a values-based, strengths-focused framework designed for men who feel buried by grief, transition, or silence.
This model rests on three core movements:
1. Reconnecting to What Matters
We begin by uncovering the values beneath your pain. What feels like failure, loss, or numbness often protects something deeply important — love, freedom, family, purpose. Naming those values gives us a compass for the journey ahead.
2. Remembering Your Strength and Resilience
Too often, men come here only seeing what’s broken or missing. We take time to remember the resilience you’ve already shown, the strengths you carry, and the ways you’ve survived so far.
3. Reframing Your Story and Reclaiming Your Life
Together we rewrite how you hold your experiences — not to erase pain, but to find the courage to reclaim your voice, your choices, and your next chapter.
This model blends narrative therapy principles, strengths-based psychology, and practical tools like the Reset Compass. It helps you make sense of where you are, uncover the values that matter most, and take steps toward a life that is authentic, courageously reclaimed, and deeply connected to who you really are — not just what life has demanded of you.

Practical Questions

How will I know if this is working?
You may notice:
  • More clarity around decisions and direction
  • Language for feelings you couldn’t name before
  • Less emotional weight in everyday life
  • Increased sense of purpose and direction
If after a few sessions it doesn’t feel helpful, we pause or adjust. This space is for you — it should feel safe, relevant, and worthwhile.
Honesty and willingness to engage. No performance, no pressure.
Men who feel buried under roles, grief, or change — and want a companioned, practical way forward.
Naming what’s been carried alone for years. Many men describe relief when they realise they don’t have to carry it silently anymore. They move from simply surviving to fully engaging with life again.
Start with one session or the free discovery call. You’ll know quickly if it’s the right next step.

Logistics & Availability

How often are sessions?
Most are 60 minutes, weekly, fortnightly, or monthly, depending on your needs and capacity.
Yes. Most sessions are on Zoom. In-person options are available in Perth, Western Australia.
Yes. Most of my mentoring occurs online, and I work with men across Australia and internationally. The challenges of grief, identity, or role fatigue aren’t limited by geography.
Zoom sessions enable us to connect face-to-face, regardless of the distance. Many men even favour online sessions because it cuts down on travel time and feels safer to chat from their own home.
Whether you’re in Perth, Sydney, London, or anywhere else, the mentoring process stays consistent: providing a safe, grounded space to explore what matters and move toward reclaiming yourself.
Usually within 1–2 weeks. Evening and weekend times are available for busy schedules.
24 hours’ notice for rescheduling. Cancellations under 24 hours may incur the session fee.

Grief & Mental Health

How does grief affect men’s mental health?
Grief itself is not a mental illness. It’s a natural response to loss. However, when grief is left unspoken, minimised, or suppressed, it can significantly affect mental health.
Men may experience:
  • Persistent fatigue or lack of motivation
  • Irritability or emotional withdrawal
  • Risk-taking, overwork, or self-numbing behaviours
  • Feelings of emptiness that resemble depression
Over time, unprocessed grief can heighten anxiety, lead to depression, or even impact physical health. Many men don’t realise the root of their difficulties is grief because they’ve never been taught to connect loss with emotional or mental wellbeing.
Mentoring provides space to name grief, recognise its impact, and discover healthier ways of managing it. This awareness is often the first step towards restoring emotional balance — and preventing long-term mental health issues.

Results & Outcomes

What outcomes do men often experience?
Most men who work with me say they:
  • Feel relief from silence and confusion.
  • Become more grounded, clear, and steady.
  • Reclaim confidence and resilience.
  • Face grief and change without losing themselves.
  • Rediscover a sense of direction and hope.
By the end of the process, you’ll have:
  • A clearer sense of your values – not just the ones handed to you by family or culture, but the ones that actually anchor and guide your life.
  • Strength you can trust, not just perform – moving from holding it together on the outside to feeling steady on the inside.
  • A story you can believe in – shifting from unhelpful scripts of shame, failure, or “just surviving” into a story that honours your past and gives you a future you want to live.
  • A renewed connection to yourself and others – living with honesty and presence, able to show up in relationships and life without losing yourself.

Getting Started

Is there a free initial call?
Yes. A 20-minute discovery call lets you ask questions and see if this feels right.
Yes. A 20-minute discovery call lets you ask questions and see if this feels right.
Start with the free call. No obligation. Just a conversation to see if this is for you.

Closing Thought

You don’t need to carry it alone. Mentoring offers a steady, grounded space to untangle what’s weighing on you and take the next step toward a life that is value-led, authentic, and deeply connected — the kind of life that genuinely feels like your own.