A new integrative review published in Enferm Clínica (English Edition) examined how men deal with the death of a loved one and what these patterns reveal about men’s grief. The findings reinforce something many men know but rarely voice: men’s grief is shaped as much by identity and responsibility as by emotion. (PubMed)
Key Insight
The review, covering studies from 2017 to 2022, found that men rarely respond to bereavement in purely emotional terms. Men’s grief is often tied to how they understand their role, their place in their family, and what they believe they must hold together. When those expectations remain unacknowledged, men can slip into silent or delayed grief patterns.
What the Research Found About Men’s Grief
Men often grieve through action.
Instrumental grief—organising funerals, supporting others, managing practical tasks—emerged as a primary coping style. This isn’t avoidance; it’s how many men steady themselves when everything feels uncertain.
Withdrawal can mask distress.
The review noted that men may retreat into quietness, not because they feel less, but because expression can threaten their sense of stability or identity. This response is a common expression of men’s grief when stability feels under threat.
Context shapes expression.
Workplaces, family expectations, and community norms all influence whether men show grief, suppress it, or shoulder it alone. Loneliness and shrinking support networks were consistent themes across the studies.
Why It Matters
These findings echo what I see in my work with men—and what I lived through after the death of my son in 2009. I discovered how easily a man’s grief becomes invisible. I kept functioning, carrying responsibilities, and doing what needed to be done. Beneath that, the weight was immense.
When men’s grief is misunderstood, they don’t “move on.” They internalise it.
It becomes silent grief—returning later as exhaustion, irritability, identity loss, or emotional shutdown.
In Mentoring Through the Maze, the focus is on recognising this quieter form of grief. Men don’t need pressure to express emotion. They need their way of grieving to be named, validated, and understood within the context of their role, responsibilities, and history.
Naming men’s grief helps men understand their own patterns without pressure or shame.
To read more on men’s grief, particularly in the Australian context, see Male Grief in Australia: How Men Reclaim Themselves